Taking Off The Mask

I am taking off the Mask.
Halloween is an interesting holiday. It came out of evil with a high emphasis on wearing a mask, wearing a costume that is not ours. It can be any costume, and it just can’t be our daily and regular outfit. How often have men lived life year after year with invisible Halloween masks! As men, we have been told from an early age to “man up; you are not a sissy!” With those words and the spirit behind similar commands, we have been misled to place all our emphasis on doing the hard things of life, being tough, and pushing harder. We cannot appear to be weak, be vulnerable, or display any emotion that indicates pain or sorrow. Worst of all, we dare not cry! If we do, we will hear the shame and feel like daggers the disgust directed towards us. As a result, we walk around occasionally with masks that suggest we have it all together even though we’re hurting.
From our childhood, the enemy of our souls has been on attack mode: deceiving and seeking to destroy us. It is unfair to be snuck upon and clobbered without any warning! That often leaves most of us as little boys bruised and even burdened to be self-centered or to be people we do not genuinely want to be. Inevitably, we find ourselves having significant internal damage, yet we continue to live and function as though all is well while the internal bleeding and wounds only get worse. Now that we have all the internal bleeding, what’s next? Not every male is in this disposition, but there are way too many that have internal bleeding/wounds occurring and either don’t know what to do or are also proud to seek help. I would instead seek advice and begin the journey towards healing than continue wearing the Mask and suffer in silence.
Emotions—the whole range of them—are a part of our DNA. Laughter and joy are human, but so are sadness and anger. We are creatures with intellects, wills, and emotions, and all three have to function in our lives, or we will feel ‘handicapped.’ Men, it’s okay to cry if you are hurting, it’s okay to ask for directions on the road, it’s okay to ask for directions in life! If I am sad or angry, devastated, or lost, can I embrace that and be okay with it for a short time? We do not want to remain in this state forever, but occasionally, we can pause to deal with pain and loss. Let’s take off the Mask and have a conversation. We are not pretenders; we are complicated. We need to have a safe zone for us to share and not be judged. All a person usually needs is someone to listen, sometimes advice is not even necessary (although at other times it most certainly is), allow them to share a part of who they are. Allow me to share part of my emotions.
Unsurprisingly, the people that do the best in life are those that have mentors. A mentor is someone that helps us with direction, perspective, and advice. A mentor helps us to take off our masks and be okay with all aspects of our lives, including the parts we are seeking help with. Sometimes you and I have to declare: “I need some help at this time and in this area” and be okay with it. Some may label me, others may call me derogatory names, but I am resolved to getting this internal bleeding resolved so I can proceed. Likewise, most well aware and reasonable people will appreciate and respect a man who seeks help in a particular area of his life.
In my conversations with colleagues as I serve as a Life Coach, a common denominator always seems to be: “I have never told this to anyone, and I feel like a pretender.” The tragedy is that embracing lies about our identity will slow us down as it relates to walking in purpose. The truth, however, is that we may be broken, but we are still destined for greatness. Let’s commit to having those intimate and private conversations in a safe place with an emphasis on being authentic, living honorably despite insufficiency, and finishing STRONG. I am not an angel, and I am not perfect, but I am committing to take off the Mask and run my race much better and freer than I have in the past. It’s my race, and it’s our race, so let’s seek to both run and end well.