Working Hard

I love competing on the sports field, soccer was my thing and enjoyed playing every moment of it, well I use to. At age 52 things are a little different for me. I, however still love competition and as a sports fan I love seeing all the dynamics of the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat and everything in between. I love trash talks between athletes, once it maintains a level of respect and decency between each other. I love seeing a rookie go hard against a veteran because as far as he/she is concern I am here to compete and go after it hard. It’s even more appealing when the rookie has a respectful demeanor about him.

We as men although we can be aggressive and be proud of it in the sports world, business world and even beyond we also need to learn the art and science of tenderness. That is indeed two contrasting worlds and quite frankly doesn’t seem to reside in the same space. The truth is it can, and when done is very attractive to observe. Play hard and love hard.
Tenderness is so much not a natural male attribute and it maybe appears easier for the females to master this trait. They can be kind, be emotional in their responses and even talk about love as if it’s a big deal. The truth is being strong and confident is a major positive attribute for any male to possess, it makes us do what needs to be done. It affords us the opportunity to lead well and even to follow well when the times call for such.

Have you ever seen a man who is always competing? Always firm and unmovable on his stance? This person is never willing to compromise, never willing to ask for forgiveness and never willing to take the back seat to anyone. Some men sometimes feel like to do this is more of a manly trait, associated with their ego, than the other gentler options. These men make it difficult for the significant people in their lives to feel as if its a part of their team. These people constantly feel they are the final authority and act more like a boss like figure and as a result love their ones around can’t inhale and exhale freely. These men may be confident but is it confidence that has gone too far? Quiet frankly this boss like quality displayed in our intimate relationship may not be confidence but rather may be insecurity on display. That would be another discussion for another day.

Let me continue by saying we shouldn’t take our ego into any relationship with our love ones. However, attributes like being aware of their needs and being propelled to be kind is a much better fit to name a few. We are kind when we truly listen with the intent to understand and not to ‘fix’ someone. We are kind when we don’t hold out, but forgives quickly and seeks to restore . We are kind when we put some thought in purchasing the random or special gift for our loved one. We are kind when we give compliments away to those that earned it. When we are in a competitive mode we cannot pursue kindness at the same time.

It is certainly part of our DNA to be assertive and as we continue to embrace this disposition let’s not be dumb to resort to being unkind in the process. There is a popular song by Bruno Mars “Too young too dumb to know I should have bought you flowers”. It highlight that this person has the option to be kind but for whatever reason he didn’t choose that option. He didn’t buy her flowers, he didn’t take her dancing and now he is living in regret and especially because another man is being kind and tender to her. His conclusion was he lost a good woman because he was too young too dumb to be tender to her. Men let’s not allow our ego to move us away from being kind to those around us, especially those in the front row of our lives. Each day we start off with the concept that says, another day another opportunity to make it happen in the market place. We could also be intentional with this thought process, “another day another opportunity to be kind to those around us. Playing hard has its place and so is kindness to those we encounter.